42 points
*

So two men from Detroit die and wind up in hell. One day the Devil comes around and sees the two in thick coats, hats, and mittens, with a fire barrel between them, seemingly enjoying themselves. The Devil walks up to them and asks how they find Hell.

“Oh, it’s great! It gets awfully cold up in Michigan, dontcha know, so it’s nice to get some warmth!”

The Devil walks off in a huff, and heads over to Hell’s Thermostat. He turns the heat up, saying “let’s see how they like this.”

The next day he goes back to the two, and finds them with coats but no hats or mittens, still seemingly enjoying themselves. He walks up and asks how they are doing.

“Well, it’s nice to get a little more heat here! Up in the U.P. we don’t get summers like this, doncha know.”

The Devil walks off in a huff again, and heads back to The Thermostat. He cranks it up to the maximum and is immediately assaulted with the anguished cries of the damned.

The next day he goes back to the two, and finds them in swim shorts and seemingly enjoying themselves. He walks up and asks how they like the heat now.

“Oh, it’s so nice here! We can finally enjoy some heat after being cold so long!”

The Devil stomps off again, and heads back to The Thermostat. After staring at it a moment, he says “well, if they like the heat, we’ll just give them back the cold!” And he cranks the Thermostat down as far as it can go. The cries of the torment soften to the sound of a multitude of chattering teeth. Icicles beging forming on the stalagtites and lava pools cool and solidify.

The Devil returns to the two men to find them back in coats and mitten, loudly cheering and celebrating. The Devil loses his composure and yells.

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND! I turn the heat up, and you enjoy it, but I blast you with cold and now I find you cheering! This is Hell! What do you have to celebrate?!”

The two hug each other and yell out happily “The Lions must have won the Superbowl!”

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5 points

this was such a great setup, but in the end it fell flat because i don’t know anything about superbowl or detroit, can someone explain?

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6 points

If I had to guess, the joke is "Hell will freeze over before [Insert Sports Team] will win [Insert Sporting Event].”

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4 points

The Detroit Lions are the only American football franchise operational for the entirety of the Super Bowl era to not appear in the Super Bowl.

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2 points

So the equivalent of relegation league, for everyone else

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28 points
*

for the minority of people using non standard, 50C=122F

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18 points

This city should not exist. It’s a monument to man’s arrogance.

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13 points

Is the sun sweating in those images?

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2 points

It’s a Mr. Lovenstein sun.

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2 points

Hell needs to up their heat game.

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