Ambii [she/her, they/them]
ex good_girl
New account, same old me (good_girl)
entering a new era of trans posting.
thinking about it the other day and i realized that while i never connected with my culture/heritage when I thought I was cis, i’m more openly embracing it as a woman.
whining about needles
how the FUCK do i get over my fear of needles for injections.
I’ve been doing this shit for 4 months at this point and I still cannot do it myself (my girlfriend has injected me every time) and today I cried like a fucking child because i was so frustrated i couldn’t do my injection because my anxiety was so high.
I hate this but I don’t want to do any other form goddamn it.
Maybe i should switch to subcutaneous from intramuscular but i already have like 5 dozen syringes and filter needles.
God this sucks i feel so stupid
spoiler
It’s weird to think about Maria’s transition ages compared to mine. We’ve known we’re trans for about the same amount of time at 4 years, but she’s been on hormones for seemingly that whole time whereas I only got on them less than a year ago. And yet I feel like I’ve matured out of being like her.
I felt this hard, my timeline is very similar to yours it sounds like. Though, when i started reading the book I was trying to reach for any sign or confirmation that, yes bitch you’re trans.
And then I repressed for 4 more years.
I reread it again earlier this year like 3 months into hormones and there’s still a part of me that just can’t grasp moving as fast as she did.
Nooooo Orange Book did not go hard enough
spoiler
In fairness I was more running from having to confront changes in my life as a result of being trans, not from transness itself
Once I moved out and also reached an ultimatum in my relationship I stopped repressing because it was do or die.
Anyway I’m much better now, being trans is pretty goddamn rad and I wish (in a healthy way now) I started earlier.
