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GooberEar

GooberEar@lemmy.wtf
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101 points

I’m 99% sure this is fake or that it wasn’t UPS who delivered the package. I can see virtually the whole box in this image and it’s clear that the package is in pretty decent condition and not covered in mystery stains.

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My best friend has an unnatural talent for this sort of thing and really enjoys toying with conspiracy theory nuts.

When folks start talking about crazy shit, it makes me very anxious and I tend to shut down. Not my buddy. He eggs them on, encourages it, and gets them to say things or agree with things that are even more outlandish than where they conversation started. Things will start at “China invented covid to kill off old people” and somehow end up at “Hillary Clinton paid to have her chromosomes added to the covid vaccines so that DNA evidence can no longer be used against her in the courts”.

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I dunno if it is intentional, but there’s a an additional layer of humor in this for me:

Where I live, there’s a company called Labcorp and they are basically the de facto company for pre-employment and random drug testing. I’m sure they do more than just drug tests, but drug testing is about all non-medical folks know of the place.

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72 points

There’s a saying amongst us ass breathers in regards to all you nose breathing assholes: “they hate us because they anus.”

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When someone asks a thing like this on Lemmy, look up the same thread on Reddit (guaranteed to find it was recently also posted there) and copy-pasta some of the top posts. Guaranteed worthless internet up arrows.

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I save money by not even using lemons. I simply add a minute amount of dehydroxyl-5-ca carbomethyl-tridiamine hexanepolyethylene which tastes vaguely lemony but also causes elbow cancer. Treatment for which is patented by one of my subsidiary companies, so I make a good chunk of income with the cause and cure for that one specific disease.

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I’m a transgender illegal alien who recently went to jail and got a sex change. Anybody wanna share pet recipes?

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I found it interesting that Trump claims if he wins the election, he’ll have the Russia / Ukraine conflict resolved BEFORE he even takes office. I’m paraphrasing there, but that’s how I interpreted what he stated.

If that’s the case, then it seems like he could choose to end the conflict at any time. Why doesn’t he just end it now? Save countless lives. Minimize injuries. Prevent suffering. Save money. I’m sure that’d change some voters’ minds if he did it. Might even win him the election.

Yes, this is a rhetorical question. I have no doubt that he can’t actually end it without basically giving in entirely to Russia.

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I definitely miss the cached pages. I found that I was using the feature very frequently. Maybe it’s just the relative obscurity of some of my hobbies and interests, but a lot of the information online that shows up in search engines seems to come from old forums. Often times those old forums are no longer around or have migrated to new software (obliterating the old URLs and old posts as well).

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Why you peeing in that thing, bro? The two big arches ought to be enough for any halfway intelligent person to realize that you’re supposed to stick your buttocks there not your beanie-weenie. Dries out your logs so that they don’t make as big a mess when you pick them up to toss them into the sink.

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