crosswind [they/them]
Look, I know there’ve been problems in the past, but I think there’s some really cool stuff under development in Star Citizen right now. If you all can chip in a few hundred dollars with me to help the project along, I think it’s really going to pay off in a few months.
Yeah, I think this is a topic that has room for and is worth a lot of discussion. With this issue, what someone means by ‘using guilt’ can be anything from explaining the consequences of someone’s actions and letting them draw their own conclusions, to ‘bringing down a mountain of Divine Shame’. And sometime people will argue those back and forth as if they’re talking about the same thing.
I wanted to defend the post as having a good point, while definitely having to be incomplete to fit into a short tumblr post. I was glad to be a part of expanding on it in this thread.
I think the emphasis on “keep it in proportion” is trying to acknowledge that there’s a deeper discussion to be had there without getting too sidetracked from the main point of the post. To get in to that discussion, I would say that shame is not a tool to be used, but effectively handling a situation where a child has caused significant harm (maybe not swearing, but something more serious) is going to involve some amount of guilt or shame.
Sometimes children misbehave because they have to, but often it’s because they don’t understand why what they did is wrong, or that there’s a better way to act. If someone can explain these things, a small, appropriate amount of guilt can make the lesson much more memorable.
This takes a lot of skill, and understanding of the situation the kid is in, how they are feeling, and how they are reacting. Many people don’t follow this, and they can cause more harm doing it badly. But trying to educate someone after they’ve done something wrong while avoiding causing them any guilt at all is not going to be very effective. And reserving shame or guilt only for people you’ve declared to be lost causes is not a healthy approach.
Overhearing someone at a loud party describing what a pride flag is, and then designing my homophobe pride shirt
It varies significantly with my gender temperature.