hexaglycogen [he/him, they/them]

you do find a sturdy looking stick, and you add that to your inventory.

+.25 atk while equipped

you’re at dennis

there’s no statue, but you’re close enough to the castle and that’s kind of close enough to a statue. you use your dung ball to draw a small weiner on the side of the building.

-1 small dung ball

apologies, you already used it to draw a weiner on the side of the castle. you can try to find a new one.

you find salt, coal, and you don’t know where to get any sulfur.

+2 tbsp Salt +1 Lump of Coal

you enter the dennis and ask for a “weird old wizard”

the lady at the front looks at you strangely.

you can do that but the peasant that this forum is connected to is already outside. or was outside like 2000 years ago.

you… fucking hell. you roll a 20.

I’M NOT KIDDING. I WANTED TO KEEP THIS RELATIVELY GROUNDED. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO JUST MAKE GOBLIN NOISES AND GET KICKED OUT OF THE DENNIS.

okay you’re a goblin now. i know that technically there isn’t a 5% chance of manifesting goblinhood but, fine, whatever, we’re a goblin now.

status: +is a goblin

+2 atk, -2hp

+3 stealth

+1 shenanigans (schemes, chicanery, hijinx etc. become more effective)

+goblin sized dagger (+2 atk)

You walk up to the lady at the dennis and ask her if they have any brimstone.

Given that you just rolled a 20, she said that she just has some that you can have (it’s stinky and she doesn’t want it).

+3 Chunks of Brimstone

You exit the dennis and head back to the castle.

you approach the weiner drawing, but there’s two guards patrolling the area.

given that you’re already a goblin now, do you want to stick to asking for the wizard or naw