T. T. Perry
Disabled enby hearing scientist. Integrationist. Survivor. Games and play. Auditory science!?
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We should reject models of masculinity that demand maleness be connected with performance. “Masculinity must stand for the for the essential core goodness of the self”.
Patriarchal masculinity demands that men perform a gender role. True masculinity celebrates the dignity of humanity without condition.
Human. Reducing humanity to usefulness only makes sense in a dominator model. Domination means extraction of utility from others. Maleness is good not for the reason that men are objects to be used. Maleness is good in itself. Patriarchal masculinity tells the lie that manhood is connected to a man’s usefulness, to his capacity to do violence, to fight wars, to take from those who are weaker or lesser.
The topic is about being pressured to feel like a “useful man”, which is a central concept of patriarchal masculinity. It’s great that you are a responsible person. But you are the one missing the point here.
“do you feel like your worth as a man is related to your practical utility?”
Where in your post do you talk about worth and how self-value is gendered?
Why are you acting like we are cavemen?
I understand what you mean. I highly recommend the book “Language of Emotions” as an aide in identifying and respecting one’s emotions.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8048177-the-language-of-emotions
And of course, talking out loud about your emotions with people you trust.
The Will to Change made me feel more seen and understood than anything Warren Farrell ever wrote. It’s a must read.