Edit: this comment is not written well, and is not describing the issue I wanted to actually comment on, I am tired and sorry
I will hop on to this to also point out that there actually were people willing to actively help (me included, see the original post on this community) but if I say it bluntly we were not “invited in on the show”, let me expand that.
The problem is, as @nutomic@lemmy.ml points out here, we don’t have the slightest idea how exactly your infrastructure looks, without that there is only the most general stuff we can help with.
From my point of view, joining the matrix chat later in the process, I watched you do/post stuff that I have no idea where it comes from, I don’t have the full context of what has been already tried and crossed out and what’s the current plan.
You @db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com would have to stop chopping and start networking with the people - that is definitely not easy to do effectively, especially if more people join later (and too have to be updated with the sate) but we could have fast tracked the docker/compilation stuff ruling lemmy out sooner.
In retrospect, if we had full picture of how the infrastructure looks the chance someone would go “oh you have split backend and database servers, check the latency” would definitely be a lot higher, but we didn’t know (hell I actually assumed your deployment is same or close to the lemmy ansible one). I am aware this is easy to say after the solution has been found but hopefully you get the networking/communication idea.
Wait, hold on, how was help not accepted? I talked with everyone who replied to me me and followed every suggestion. If someone had asked for infra information I gave it.
You know It’s really frustrating to open myself and write about my experiences honestly and then people try to stay that it’s actually my fault I didn’t ask for help “the right way” . What kind of effect to do you think this might have to other potential lemmy hosters?
I didn’t want to devalue your communication, I think I have worded my previous comment very badly in that sake, I am sorry about that. (I also really need to go to sleep so I will be blunt here.)
There is a nuance to the internet communication when it comes to asking OSS community for support, at least speaking from my own experience as someone working in tech.
Getting one or two people actively bouncing ideas of off is a already big success - quality of OSS support is often very spotty across projects and it’s understandable because people do it in their free time which is limited (also if the project is complex, there is often less people experienced with it, less total sum of free time for support, I think this currently applies to Lemmy a lot).
With that in mind, when I come asking for support I am mostly prepared to not get any, I am prepared to have to dive into the codebase, debug, deconstruct, debug, swear, swear some more. Maybe this is just me and I had really bad luck mostly, but I don’t know.
Should the devs/owners of any OSS project be ready to provide (some) support for their product if they want it to survive, probably yes, and how much is good depends on the project, you, anyone.
So
What kind of effect to do you think this might have to other potential lemmy hosters?
My opinion is that currently, lemmy is simply not ready for non-tech people. (And I can’t really imagine it will ever be, unless there is a lot of people active in the development and are willing to help others. At least currently there is just too much moving parts that require at least some amount of technical experience. Also lemmy is not something like… GUI application - some application to be used by non-tech people, in the sense that if you want to deploy your own lemmy instance you the admin is the target user of that software, not talking about UX/UI)
Also as someone else has commented here, hosting something for myself is easy, hosting for friends is just a slightly bit harder, but hosting something for the public, getting hundreds-thousands of people makes it by a magnitude a lot more difficult (now you need active monitoring, durable backups, …).
You surely noticed that I was more than prepared to get my hands dirty during this incident. 😉
When I speak about support, I don’t mean having people doing it for me.
But overall you don’t seem to disagree with me that hosting you lemmy is not for the non-technical. Which is what nutomic took issue with.