So I’m just going to say it - I don’t last particular long when I masturbate, maybe 2 or 3 minutes continuously. It just always made masturbating pretty uneventful for me - might I even say boring.
Lately however I’ve been wanting to change that a little. I started to try and edge to make everything last a little longer, which ended up causing quite a bit of ruined orgasms xD.
I also decided to buy some new sex toys. I ended up buying a prostate massager which MY GOD is probably the best purchase I’ve ever made. To my surprise I was able to make myself cum hands free which I’ve never been able to do!
Figuring out what I like has been such a blast and made masturbating much more enjoyable for me! Fuck I might even enjoy it a little too much >.<
So I wondered, most people always talk about what they enjoy during sex but let’s switch it up. What’s does the perfect night for yourself look like? Maybe I’ll even be able to get some new ideas from them!
Yeah, “man” if I am forced to be labeled. There’s so much ‘old’ and expectations in the “man” label. I tend to lean into more “guy” or “dude” because I’m a boy at heart even at 39. My mind is still in an extended growth spurt, so I’m not grown up yet, and never want to be.
foolish ramblings
Most video content is made to focus on satisfying the typical male ego. I don’t find that appealing and I doubt most women do either. The whinny female slut-moaning in most porn is terrible as well. The male experience is very objective driven. So the visual appeal of ‘picture yourself (here) doing (this)’ is an expedient path of release; bonus points if it appeals to narcissistic alpha ego’s deep insecurities.
The most appealing content for me, is the exploration of honest female orgasm. I think that is the real reason why squirting is so appealing. There is a raw and unyielding honesty in the moment that can not be faked or denied later. It is a moment of shared innocent vulnerability beyond words. I suppose that perspective is common among some partners that observe the other in such a vulnerable moment often. For some of us, those moments of raw honesty are rare. I find it deeply troubling when, in conflict, a partner denies the validity or magnitude of past moments of perceived vulnerability that lacked such a tangible raw honesty. It is a deeply hurtful loss of connection. That is the underlying appeal to me personally. I postulate anyone with a fixation on female squirting has been hurt by a partner in conflict like this.
When it comes to applying this on a more practical level regarding the content experience, I think it is far easier for a male to imagine an attractive female experiencing something more than what the content contains, and a picture gives a clear objective driven goal regardless of whether it moves in video.
I feel like women are not so objectively driven, and need to feel compelled. That likely means most male ego driven content is unappealing due mostly to the inherent objectification and lack of honest raw vulnerability that underpins the sexual experience being emulated.
Most of my partners have liked what I like, but most were muses more than real partners. They tended to gravitate towards content that reflected their insecurities, which I found fascinating, but never pointed out to them.
I think it comes down to self awareness and nuance. I don’t think many males explore written content in print. I am unlikely to think twice about seeing a woman reading a novel in public and I imagine that is a fairly common stance. Reading material seems much more accessible for females, with the benefit of building a deeper compelling momentum focused on female exploration and gratification. It answers the question of why, instead of focusing solely on the what and where of the encounter. I deeply appreciate the why question as well as all the rest like, when, which, and who, even the occasional if, is, else, while, for, and why not.
By contrast, if I find any male reading, I am very likely to take notice and note of what he is reading specifically. It is a sign of a rare and interesting person. There is a lot more social pressure in this regard to appear less eccentric and a lot of people will assume damning traits to anyone with open hyperbolic eccentricity. The underlying animalistic danger attributed to all males by default is likely a factor in why it is not generally acceptable for males to read smut openly. From a conservative mindset, reading is dangerous and threatening intelligence. Adding sexuality into the picture becomes intolerable.
Plus, when reading, it often delves into shocking ethics that would require admitting insecurity to discuss openly. Many relationships do not have openness across this boundary. Like the most read story on literotica is about a woman secretly having sex with her son on the car ride to his freshman university dorm. There are many facets of this story that may wreck the foundations of an insecure person if they admit the appeal of being turned on by such a story. Judging by the free porn industry’s bias towards male narcissist appealing content, I imagine most men are incapable of addressing how such content impacts them and even fewer have the fortitude to maintain a stable ethos long term when such questions are left to ponder.
I think I am a bit of an outlier though, so maybe I’m not the best measure of a man’s mind. I think most men lack the self awareness and curiosity to explore beyond their objective driven mindset and so never explore beyond the utility of image and video formats. Anyways, that’s my rambling novel of a perspective.
Thanks. My problem with a lot of the images on here that I’d otherwise like is the hot woman/fat ugly dude duo that shows up so much - in real life when we were swinging I honestly didn’t mind doing guys I outclassed in looks, it’s kind of fun but certainly NOT what I would like to see with my eyes!
On watching what you are insecure about, I do like better the small boob ladies but not sure being small is an insecurity anymore (it sure was but as an older woman I love, love being a small boob person), I just dislike big fake bolt ons and not into the plush built ladies either, is it possible your friends just had a type?
But - and it’s a big but - even the visual media that I find very arousing is less arousing than a good story. Like if I read the same thing it would be better.
I like this discussion, does LemmyNSFW support polls?
Small boobs was a major insecurity of most of my partners and I never could convince them that I really do like small boobs. It’s kinda funny because my last partner had a fixation on one star, the name escapes me at the moment, but the star looked like a bombshell, basically she looked like my sister. It was close enough it felt repulsive every time I watched it.
Everyone in my family is like this, so I tend to go for the opposite type. My mother and sister never wanted to go camping, hiking, biking, or anything fun. They always complained that boobs got in the way. So at an early age I was like, fuck that nonsense. I don’t even get the appeal really. I’m not hungry, and resonant jiggling is not enough to amuse me.
Polls? I don’t think so. I haven’t seen any.
How's your French.
In a writing/reading/personal ethos context…
Isaac Asimov’s robots series, specifically in the book The Naked Sun Asimov casually postulated that humans used their home assistant like robots for sexual pleasure, but this activity was a social taboo to discus or admit publicly. These robots were independent artificial general intelligences and would gladly perform whatever task was asked of them. However, these were all utilitarian in form. They had somewhat human like form, but did not parody humans with skin and emotions.
So if you had a custom configurable robotic housemaid and assistant always at your beckoned call, and it would gladly do anything as instructed, would you use it for such activities even when it appears like a genderless machine?
Note that is peripheral to the plot of the book, assuming you have not read it. The actual plot of the book is that there are 2 humaniform robots in existence, (meaning they appear entirely human in every way you can imagine, yes those too. They are both male and like twins. One of these two was loaned to a lady that is a carry over from the previous book. She used this robot thoroughly, (but not explained in any kind of explicit detail). So much so that she considered it her husband. The rest of the book is a detective story about who “killed” this robot and pushing the reader to question the nature of life and their preconceptions of ethics when it comes to sentience, however stating it directly like this is really a disservice to what the book is all about.
Anyways, I won’t even pretend to question if a perfect mimic of a man would get used often, as would the female counterpart. My curiosity is how an open minded woman would use a convenient, custom configurable sex machine that might help with the house work from time to time. Would you openly admit such a thing in most circles of people where you have some degree of social accountability, or would you view someone differently in your analog real life when they tell you they bought a French robo maidurbater?
My thoughts:
Not sexual but have you watched Pluto on Netflix? Or read it? It’s very thoughtful in its approach to questions of what is a person, and gorgeously drawn.
Also that Star Trek episode where Tasha Yar and Data get together.
I think with the tech we have currently I would jump to the assumption they couldn’t get a human partner, I would imagine them more of a sex doll than a partner. I’m almost certainly not the target audience for something like that, more of a hands than toys person when it comes to self-pleasure. But I guess if it was sold as full service probably I’d try it? It would be pretty low on the list of helpful tech I want though. A replicator first. A self cleaning house, and of course clean energy for everyone, but yeah we will probably get sex bots sooner.
Would that even count as a solo night? Hmm.