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50 points

I’m a chemist, so I’d just tell them that I’m an alchemist.

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10 points

Apothecary might be better.

To be honest you might get away with moving the term chemistry forward a couple of decades

Beginning around 1720, a rigid distinction began to be drawn for the first time between “alchemy” and “chemistry”.[104][105] By the 1740s, “alchemy” was now restricted to the realm of gold making, leading to the popular belief that alchemists were charlatans, and the tradition itself nothing more than a fraud.[102][105]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alchemy

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29 points
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Ooh, good idea. I’m an alprogrammer. Or is it alware algineer?

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18 points
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So close, yet so very wrong.

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