This happens in Germany.
Work culture doesnโt fit my personality: I donโt talk much, I keep to myself, I simply want to do my job and go home, I separate my personal life from work, my colleagues are full fledged gossips, ignore the duties that need to be done and then expect me to help them when they are late. I donโt have patience for that crap anymore.
Due to internal regulations, I have to stay on the unit for 4 weeks after sending my notice. Answering honestly the question of why Iโm quitting would ensure that they yell at me and bully me, and I donโt want to experience that again. Even saying โitโs none of your businessโ ensures that they feel insulted and start yelling. I have decided I donโt have patience for people like that anymore.
So, what do I say?
Start telling a long and rambling story that in no way relates. Keep talking until interrupted.
If they ask you to get to the part where the reason for quitting comes up, insist on giving them the โnecessaryโ โcontextโ.
Then continue talking, except this time about some completely different incident. If they ask you to complete the previous incident, insist you were talking about this new incident all along.
Be sure to punctuate your actions with the occasional โโฆWhich was the style at the time.โ
I remember being on the hiring committee for my new manager. One of the two finalist candidates took several times longer than necessary to answer the questions without adding substance. When we met to discuss our decision, most committee members tried to voice more substantive reasons. Finally someone just cut the shit and said something like โit sounds like no one wants to listen to him talk.โ So yes, yammering is an excellent people repellent.
Interrupt yourself with explanations that jump from place to place on the timeline of events but doesnโt help the story in the slightest. โIt all began with (insignificant event) back in (month and year). We were supposed to be doing (work task with too detailed of an explanation), but (coworker) started talking to us about (current event at the time, explain in too much detail). Then (I/family member/friend) got COVID about a week or so later. I think they probably got it from not wearing a mask at (event). (Explain all the COVID precautions and conspiracies and left vs right politics).โ
