“No sense in letting my 40 identical gingham blouses go to waste.”
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“I wanted to live all my internalized misogyny, not just dream about it.”
“I believe in choosing a marital structure from an arbitrary point in human history and pretending it represents some kind of inviolable rule.”
“I just couldn’t resist the raw sexual magnetism of an antisocial dipshit who gets all his information from podcast clips on YouTube.”
Never change, Onion. Never change. <3
