Just putting this here cause I found it a good overview of a pretty confusing situation I had no prior knowledge about
Its not an urge. It’s a correction. If I tell you my name isn’t Joe, it’s John, and you continue to call me Joe, I’ll have to assume you’re either crazy forgetful or purposefully being an asshole.
If I tell you I’m not he/him, but she/her, and you continue to call me he/him, it’s the same thing. Prove me wrong.
In my experience, those that asked to be referred to as they/them identify as being non-binary, though in reading more on the topic, this is not always the case.
I only adopt the pronouns of those that the person in question expressly asks to be referred to as. Otherwise, if the pronouns are not explicitly mentioned, I default to the pronouns of the gender I perceive said individual to be presenting as until otherwise corrected.
In my opinion, it’s simply a sign of mutual respect and acknowledgement that I recognize their identity as they proclaim it to be.
