Take a much more relaxed approach to the whole thing. We were young at the time and so worried about the expectations of our families that we forgot to make it into a fun day for ourselves.
Same. If it were just up to the wife and I we would’ve simply gone to the courthouse and signed some stuff but we decided on a ceremony because it was “important to our families” and did things more traditionally than if it were only the two of us. We would’ve had a lot more fun with the whole thing if we could have just realized that the day was for us and about us and should’ve been done our way.
I’m on my second (and very likely last) marriage, and that’s what I’ve tried to impress on my kids. I’d like to be there when they get married, even if it’s just a courthouse thing, and after that I have no expectations for what they do. My first kid eloped, and I was disappointed I couldn’t be there, but was still happy for them.
We we had been living together for two years and had kids. My mom wanted us to do a small ceremony at a beautiful park near her house but i was resistant. We did the courthouse alone and then just went home. I wish we had listened to her and really celebrated with at least our parents present. Looking back it feels like we made a business transaction out of what could have been a fun, romantic day. Just had our 30th anniversary.
