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50 points

Why is Jupiter stopping us from getting asteroid hugs?

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47 points

Its gravitational pull moves asteroids away from the inner ring of planets.

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16 points

I should have added a sarcasm tag! My bad.

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18 points

Jupiter is fucking sick though, what a homie of a planet

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18 points

Asteroid hugs fucking hurt.

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9 points

Jupiter says, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”

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3 points

So Jupiter’s forever storm is like that thing my wife holds against me for when we have an argument later?

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6 points

I mean, you didn’t kill the dinosaurs. Or did you ಠ_ಠ

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8 points
*

Its gravity sucks up all the little rockyboys headed inward

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1 point
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Because the last big one it left through caused a stop to Earths space probes visiting it for like 66 million years.

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