The fact that treating someone as a person hinges on what you get out of it is a huge problem.
That’s a fair assumption from what I said though that’s not how I meant it.
I treat everyone equally regardless of what is or isn’t between their legs. I’m generally just that helpful guy that’s always offering help to people even if they don’t outright ask for it. I just try my best to make sure everything is going smoothly for everyone around me.
But I bet not a single woman I’ve interacted with would ever remember me helping them. They’d never remember me going out of my way to make sure they felt safe and were having as good of a time as possible. But they’ll never forget that guy that made them uncomfortable. And that’s all they’ll think about. They’ll ignore every single man they interacted with. They’ll ignore all the men that didn’t do anything to them. The men that treated them like normal human beings.
I’m not gonna change how I treat everyone. But it’s really fuckin annoying to constantly hear “all men” when I’m actively going out of my way to be as helpful as possible.
Feels sisyphean.
The only people I’ve seen saying “all men” are men who are butthurt that women calculate the risk of being in the woods with a bear as less risky. None of the women who are choosing the bear say that.
I’ll admit I’ve only heard a few say it here or there online but I’ve had several experiences irl with women who actually think and behave that way.
I’ve had a coworker get pissy with me because I was getting excited and loud and her “apology” was “Sorry I just hate men. Like all men”.
Idk maybe I just got (un)lucky enough to live in an area where we have a lot of outspoken women who actually act like all men are fucking monsters and it’s exhausting especially for me because I actually look like the type of guy that would do some of the shit I hear about.
I’m 6’3" covered in tattoos and scars. I look just like the type of guy women are afraid of. And as a result I get hit with all the bullshit from it. Despite being an ally and doing my best to try to be a light in the darkness.
Like I said, feels sisyphean