I’m so sorry. Can you not sell some of the wine? Would he notice if it was a smaller collection? Just a reminder that financial abuse is abuse, control is abuse, there are shelters for people who are being abused which will get you out of that environment.
He notices if I so much as eat a bowl of cereal he thinks is his alone. Or forget to bring home the knife I took to work to eat lunch with. Or anything. You’ve never met someone so territorial. Once I left my bottle of work hand lotion on the kitchen table after a 16 hour shift and he threw it up the stairs and it burst everywhere, and when I had a screaming fit told me it was my fault for being inconsiderate.
Not kidding. And I can’t leave because I’d never let my dogs get hurt and they sure don’t let you take them to shelters. He’d haunt me to the ends of the earth anyway.
This is abuse, leave. Take the dogs for a walk, go to a friend’s house and call a lawyer or the cops or a womens’ agency. Yes everything will be shit for awhile, get a restraining order and file for legal relief from the debt, you may even be able to sue him for relief of the debt, and if he used your credit without your ok, that is fraud and also illegal.
I know you feel you don’t have the mental strength to leave but if you can survive staying, you definitely do have the strength.
My gf had been in sort of a similar situation. You need to get out. At all costs. Even if you have to leave the dogs.
He will just do whatever he needs to do to keep you desperate and on his leash. So no matter what you do, he won’t met you save money, he won’t give you a chance to get away ever.
The controlling behavior servers to keep you there at his disposal.
He is not going to change. You will have too. So get of your ass and leave. It’s the only chance you have for a real life again. If you don’t, you basically submit and accept that this will be your life forever.
I know that things may seem hopeless, but the situation you are in is affecting the way you think. You can get away, you can have a normal life but you have to decide that it is over and commit to getting away.
I literally have no money and mountains of debt thanks to him. Rent in my city is 2K which I absolutely cannot afford by myself. I don’t know what you think makes me able to do any of this, I really cannot.
