Call me authoritarian for this, but this is what happens when we respect everyone’s opinions instead of shaming and belittling those who are proudly stupid, dogmatic, and cruel. The Reddit atheists were on to something.
First step in that is to stop teaching kids that everyone’s opinions are valid.
Sorry, but if you think global warming isn’t real, the earth is flat, or pineapple is an acceptable pizza topping, you should be mocked and shunned from society.
pineapple on pizza bad
Wow so funny and original. It’s almost like I’m back on reddit.
Teach kids the difference between opinions and facts backed by scientific proof, opinions are like “we should go buy groceries and eat food at home instead of outside today” and not “I have no degree or formal education in anything related to medicine, vax is bad”
pineapple is an acceptable pizza topping, you should be mocked and shunned from society.
Americans will wash their food down with straight corn syrup but cry if some fruit touches their savory dinner treats.
The correct answer to “will adding cooked pineapple to this dish improve it?” is always “yes, that will always improve everything whether it’s a burger or curry or pizza or soup or rice.”
The problem with the so-called “Hawaiian” Pizza is that there’s no attempt to balance flavors. It’s just sour and (sometimes) sweet pineapple tossed thoughtlessly onto a ham pizza. Pineapple goes great in a lot of things - curries, sweet and sour pork, etc., but most of those dishes are thoughtfully balanced so that there are no overwhelming flavors.
The correct answer to “will adding cooked pineapple to this dish improve it?” is always “yes, that will always improve everything whether it’s a burger or curry or pizza or soup or rice.”
Pineapple is a great pizza topping and haters don’t understand the value of adding tartness to a rich dish. Mfs never balance a dish with acid or honey and it shows. It’s no less a proper pizza than stuffed crust abominations.
Replying again, I don’t think a pizza should be a rich dish, and also the fewer the toppings the better.
You just need dough, sauce, cheese, basil.
Nothing to overpower the flavour of the bread, which is in and of itself an ingredient with its own texture and flavour, not simply a device to deliver toppings into your mouth. The sourdough, proven for a decade or more, taking on the smokiness of the wood burning in the oven as it cooks. The texture of being crisp on the outside but al dente in the middle, the unpredictable flames of the oven charring, but not outright burning certain spots of dough.
Raw San Marzano plum tomatoes, pureed with olive oil, salt and a clove of garlic. No need to add sugar to overcome the taste of being packaged and canned, these are vine ripened. You can still taste the umami and acidity of the tomatoes, even as it cooks, slowly absorbing into the dough below.
The fresh, mild buffalo mozzarella, free to melt without being coated in anti-caking agents pre-shredded cheese is caked in. Chunks, torn or sliced, placed sporadically on the pizza, not even trying to cover every square centimeter. Balancing out the acidity of the tomatoes
Leaves of basil, placed on top, adding colour contrast and a subtle sweetness.
You take a bite, and your worries for the day drift away. The bustle of the restaurant, of the alley, of the street, melt away into a murmur. This is good. Today is good. But a thought nags at you. Why is this not your default association with pizza? And why does that fact subconsciously make you sad?
You come to the realization that once again, it has been the cold, bony fingers of capital. You’re sad because you realize it’s the same enshitification making everything worse today.
The bread, expertly made with aged starters, chewy and firm in perfect amounts, cheapened to thin, unproven dough cut costs.
The woodfire oven, scent of home and hearth, replaced with conveyor belts to increase output.
The tomatoes, now canned and preserved, artificially sweetened to mask the taste of metal.
The cheese, now mass produced and lacking age, requiring twice as much to get the same amount of flavour, turning a dish of very little oil to a greasy oily mess.
This masterpiece of aroma, texture and flavour is now unhealthy, soulless and worse yet, bland. No wonder why people sought out more and more toppings. And then the arms race began of the most attention grabbing toppings to boost sales culminated in a tropical fruit being used as a topping. This became the tipping point. People subconsciously knew the idea was ridiculous, and yet they couldn’t articulate how or why. Is it because it’s a fruit? Well, tomato is already a fruit. Is it because it’s sweet? Well there are dessert pizzas. Is it because of the texture? Maybe, but that shouldn’t cause that visceral of a reaction.
It’s because it’s strayed too far from what it’s meant to be. Whether or not it tastes good, at a certain point, is no longer relevant. It’s simply strayed too far from what it was.
I’m not sure if sushi made with quinoa instead of rice and southern BBQ pulled pork for a filling would taste good or bad, probably good. But at that stage is it still sushi? How many ingredients can you add to a Caesar salad before it stops being a Caesar salad? To a grilled cheese? To an egg fried rice?
The Reddit atheists were not any better on a lot of these topics. They were just smug.
Yeah but so were the people who presumed they were saving random people from going to hell, so it was a good counterbalance. I don’t think all people can be reasoned with, some people have to be cowed by getting “owned” to refrain from loudly espousing a toxic belief, so Reddit atheists’ smugness and vitriol was a good way to shame annoying religious people out of proselytizing too much.