Get chickens!

Like guinea pigs, they are dopey, social, and delicious. Quite fun to watch, actually.

Unlike ferrets, they also provide food for you and your family nearly every day. And they’ll offer amazing free fertilizer for your lawn or garden.

They are cheap to purchase and care for. And they are pretty self-sufficient and hardy. Cleaning their coop and run is the biggest task (and makes for good compost), as long as they’ve got food, water, and a space safe from predators, they’ll pretty much fend for themselves. And they’ll live a life of luxury compared to their factory-farmed brethren.

I was against it until my wife (a vegan, of all people) came home with 6 baby chicks one day. And they’ve really been growing on me.

Edit: Chicken tax