I think it depends on the person and how they’re asking it. For my brother, he was skeptical, but like in a way where it was clear he wanted his skepticism to be proven wrong, not in a dismissing way. I was pretty open about all my thoughts (I think I just went over things roughly chronologically, because that was an easy way to organize thoughts for me) until he was content with my conclusion. You don’t owe that kind of personal explanation to anyone, especially not people who are just trying to be dismissive.

The only other person I’ve come out to I was less direct with and its effectively feeling like I’m coming out repeatedly because he didn’t get it. So I’d suggest like others: be clear/direct. But like, also don’t tell them when they’re already really drunk and may forget. He’s been really chill with everything.

I’ll still need to come out to my parents fully. Too much being indirect for my mom to get it so far. And I think stepmom does get it to some extent, but not clue how much since because of being indirect. My explanations for some things have been “cuz” or “I want to” or a shrug, which probably hasn’t been helpful.

How do I even answer a question like this

These questions don’t need to be answered truth be told. Sometimes we just feel things and we feel that those things are just right. But I think your response really depends on you and how you feel about yourself and the path you see in front of you.

For example if someone I came out to asked me “Are you sure?”, if I was feeling especially confrontational that day I’d turn it around on them and ask them how are they sure they’re not trans. Or if I knew the person a bit more personally and was okay with talking about my deeper feelings, I’d talk to them about how horrible I felt before coming to an understanding of who I am.