I had a youth pastor back before I was old enough to have started masturbating, and he gathered all the boys 'round one day to talk to us about masturbation, because the previous weeks one of the boys had made a joke about it.

Basically, the consensus at the Denbigh Christian Church was that ejaculation is only sinful if you’re lustful. So loving sex between spouses is okay, jerking off is a sin, and wet dream can also be sins, if accompanied by dirty dreams. But the real problem is that ejaculate is, basically, your bodies reserve of energy. If you’re constantly cumming, you won’t have energy for other things, because your body needs that for shit like thinking, and moving.

Basically, you’re wasting calories, I think?

I was 10, and very confused.

ETA: got the church wrong. Can’t remember the name of the one with that youth pastor. But the Sunday school teacher at the same church (not DCC, the one I can’t remember) told us that Angels hate us, because we have free will and they don’t, and if it were up to them, they’d slaughter us in our sleep. They only don’t because they’re told not to by God.

You never know.