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34 points
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All of them except the one where they handed me a collection plate and I thought they were giving me the money so I took it.

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19 points

I didn’t grow up in a church that had one of those. So I’ve always wondered what would they do if you came to Sunday service, in a hobo outfit and took some of the money in the collection plate. The defense being, ‘What? I’m poor. I’m homeless. Jesus would have given.’

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19 points

Nowadays? Depends on a whole set of indeterminate variables.

But odds point to tazing. arrest, something on that end of the spectrum.

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3 points

More likely to depend on region of the country or world than anything else.

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1 point

That would make for one hell of a NotTheOnion, story.

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6 points

I was around 9 or 10 when this happened. I went with my best friend and his mother. Everyone made a big deal about there being someone new at the church. Then i was handed a gold plate bowl thing of money, so i started stuffing handfuls of money into my pockets thinking everyone was welcoming me with cash. My friend was giggling, i looked at his mother and she was shaking her head. I passed the plate along but kept what was in my pockets.

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4 points

I’ve seen a collection plate with a tap-to-pay terminal so that would make it more difficult.

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11 points

After looking up how much money my local megachurch took in last year ($60 mil) versus how much they spent on charity ($3 mil), I think you were probably justified.

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