As the vice president introduced her new running mate at an energetic rally in Philadelphia, he quickly demonstrated his ability to deliver searing attacks against Donald Trump and JD Vance.

America’s introduction to Gov. Tim Walz of Minnesota began with a half-hour of cheering for Vice President Kamala Harris and ended with some of the sharpest attacks Democrats have leveled against former President Donald J. Trump and his running mate, Senator JD Vance of Ohio.

Before a raucous crowd in Philadelphia, Ms. Harris and Mr. Walz presented the Minnesotan as a folksy former schoolteacher and football coach who had inspired his students, served in the military and improved his constituents’ lives.

But it was his ability to deliver searing yet accessible attacks against their Republican opponents that won Mr. Walz a place on the national ticket, and during his first rally, he did not miss his marks.

“Donald Trump sees the world a little differently than us,” he said. “First of all, he doesn’t know the first thing about service. He doesn’t have time for it because he’s too busy serving himself.”

Then came the dagger. “Violent crime was up under Donald Trump,” he said, before pausing for effect. “That’s not even counting the crimes he committed.”

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26 points

he never had sex with a couch to completion

Uhmmm… what? Why would he say that? Was there actually some truth to the claim that he had sex with a couch, or what?

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12 points

None. He just did a really bad job refuting it. Honestly, it’s such a goofy meme that most adults would just ignore it, but these are Republicans we’re talking about. It’s incredibly easy to distract them with frivolous stuff.

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8 points
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Even better, there was some website explaining and refuting it all, but then it was taken down lol.

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26 points
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Even better it was the bastion of objective Journalism the Associated Press (AP). They took it down because they can’t prove he didn’t fuck a couch.

Edit - I love this because it’s the same as the old “Did Glenn Beck rape and murder a girl in 1990?”. He’s never come out to say he didn’t.

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7 points

That’s because Beck, while being a faux emotional cryptofascist shit bird, wasn’t a fucking moron and knew that the only way to stop someone JAQing off is to ignore them. Only partially because JAQing off was his primary MO.

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4 points

Did Glenn Beck rape and murder a girl in 1990?".

Were just asking questions!

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8 points

Yeah, they couldn’t prove that Vance never fucked a couch, just that he didn’t say he did in a book. But no one was quoting the book anyways, not after the meme started.

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