It is a known fact that briefly dating Montrel Williams several decades ago, when you are both available singles, provides a direct path to becoming the Leader of the Free World. I tried it myself but couldn’t get Montrel to set a date for a movie night no matter how desperate my DMs. Ah, to think I could have been a contender.

Yet I, for one, am glad that Mr. Trump’s dating history is unimpeachable, because I don’t think I could handle 2 risqué backgrounds in a single presidential season.