EDIT; I can’t reply to everyone individually but thanks for all the suggestions! Opiates are out of the question, doctors here will only prescribe those in terms of absolutely extreme suffering or end of life care. I also don’t particularly feel interested in developing a hard drug habit. Diclofenac and such are available but also only on separate prescriptions, I’d have to visit another doctor for that. I’m well stocked on paracetamol & ibuprofen, and apart from that, lots of ice cream, pudding & soup :)
Also, since a fair few people seem to doubt the veracity of my story, here’s the 22 extracted teeth (the other 10 were already gone in previous extractions).
Holy shit… When I got my wisdom teeth out, I literally broke down in tears after being awake for 20 minutes without Percocet
Friend, it’s ok to take opiates sometimes…
Kratom could be an option. You make it into tea, the first cup is a weak stimulant, the second (on an empty stomach) will start to work as a weak opiate. The third or fourth might give you stronger relief. The red strains are supposedly better for pain relief
You can’t OD on it, it’s commonly available in head shops or online. The addiction potential is very low, you’ll make yourself nauseous before getting what you’d get out of normal opiates. It’s most closely related to the coffee plant - the toxicity concerns are all about contamination, the plant itself is pretty innocuous
I can give brewing instructions if anyone wants to go down that path, I drink it for anxiety but others say it helps with pain management
