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57 points

It will be revived but with biometric sensors to capture more personal data, all of which is fed into a LLM pretending to be a healthcare provider.

“Your blood pressure is high, here’s a list of lifestyle interventions, or upgrade to a premium account for access to a healthy recipe database or go Platinum for access to our concierge prescription delivery service. Meanwhile here’s an ad for dick pills.”

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34 points

Capitalism truly ruins everything it touches

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‘‘Your blood pressure is high, kill your dog’’

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15 points

Whoa there, officer

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“If you relinquish yourself to a shelter, your pizza sauce will stick to the crust.”

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12 points

They already have these little thumbtack devices that stab into your arm and give you annoying warnings over bluetooth that are only somewhat accurate

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Damn. Bet they sell a lot of sensors for those.

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