Alternative Protein … because sourcing your nutrients somewhat humanely from a farmed food animal is WOKE PROPAGANDA

She looks like she subsists on a diet made purely of literal crickets and collagen injections anyway. Gives her that hollow, sinewy vibe she likes so much. And with all that lean protein just sitting there, why would she not give the freshly slaughtered Cricket a little nibble? Waste not, want not after all. Now that is the conservative way, Kristi!

[I hate that I wrote this out and that I’m supposedly her constituent.]