I’m sober now. Off of benzos and booze. But holy shit the things I’ve seen while in rehab. I’m a transfemme and got put in the men’s psych unit. A quick recap. A crackhead who was five foot nothing who upon learning I was a trans femme was convinced I in fact had afab genitalia. He would often ask if I was wet or if id fuck him. The best thing that happened with him was me walking into the bathroom while he was shaving his stomach, turning to me, and shouting “XXXXX CAN I SHAVE YOUR PUSSSSSY?”
A PCP addict who out of nowhere asked if he could call me “Mother” and said shit like “mother do you like Hitler” “Mother do you get horny here” “Mother is anyone on the Boston Celtics secretly a transsexual?”
Security flipping the whole units stuff because we weren’t allowed to bring food up from the vending machines and I had a nice thing going where I’d buy honey buns and wait for them to run out and then sell them for 3 cigs then sell each cig for a dollar and make a decent profit. They didn’t find shit bc I kept my honeybuns in a back office that no one used and they thought was locked (I jimmyed the lock with my rehab id card)
Cuddling with a cute Bi dude on ten blankets and a pillow I made in my “office” and immediately stopping bc fuck cuddling while paranoid and afraid of being caught.
A 62 yo alcoholic who was from Georgia and came to Chi just to go to rehab. He couldn’t read or write, was racist, sexist, and queerphobic. He called his roommate “boy” and learned the hard way racist shit doesn’t fly past the Dixon line.
I have waaaaaay weirder stories and will add more. Love you all and I’m glad 2 be back
I’m on a new med called clonodine! It’s a beta blocker, lowers your heart rate and causes extreme chill but can’t be abused like benzos can. (If you pop more than prescribed you just fucking faint) I also don’t have cravings for alcohol. I was just using that when I didn’t have benzos and when I had benzos it was to make em hit like a truck. Still not gonna drink for a loooooong time tho
Damn, that’s good! I never heard of clonodine but I’m very sheltered from hard stuff. It sounds like it can be helpful in your situation though! I’m glad you have it! Is it covered by insurance/medical? I hope it isn’t going to be difficult for you to acquire when you need it.
