We finally have an answer: The beginning and the end of the sliding motion that produces static electricity experience different forces – resulting in a charge differential between the front and the back that results in the crackle of static electricity.
It’s not inaccurate. The electrons do “just move” but the energy transfer mechanism was unknown for static buildup. With enough kinetic energy (aka friction heat, I hate the concept of friction) the charges are going to move and collect easier, just like charging a battery. Just really tiny batteries