it feels like people are trying to limit what woman are and are not allowed to be.

I’m also cis woman, half feminine, half tomboyish and the worst part, I act like a kid. People gave up telling me what is “real” woman or how she behaves or what she needs to do in order to be a true woman, but I get a lot of “grow up”. I don’t want to grow up and as I get older, I know I’m fitting my body less and less. Only when I feel feminine I’m comfortable with my age and the way I look. But a child in me wants to jump, show when she’s happy, sad, dance, giggle… Imagine a forty year old woman talking to flowers on the road. That’s me. You have no idea how people are restricting me. Calling me crazy, stupid. Even online. When I say I’m 40 I get a lot “you talk like an edgy teen” and I know it’s an insult. I try not to get insulted. And with men, it’s so strange. They all like every aspect of my character, but me being childish is inconvenient to them. Or when I refuse to be stereotypical woman, especially if they aren’t capable of playing their own masculine role. And as much as I feel awesome in sexy outfit, I hate doing it for men’s satisfaction because it’s their vision of feminine.

It’s all just odd.

Most of the time I’m attacked and questioned by traditional people. I don’t know why are they so uncomfortable with nonconformism and when things don’t fit their learned patterns. It’s not like they’re all alone on this planet and that they’re the rule, although they are a norm.

I saw few women like you and honestly I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with looking like you. Do we all have to look like virgins from males’ imagination (fuck you, Petrarca and all those stupid poets and philosophers and prophets who made their definition of us by making us their objects of lust and desire 🫵)? And when people comment… Like why do you care?

Sorry, I’m stoned, I’m just typing my incoherent thoughts.