I have high levels of empathy and have been a people leader for many years

These aren’t incompatible with autism. There are different social skills that are learned and performed in fundamentally different ways, to the point that I’ve met people who are great speaking in public but then become clueless and red as tomatoes when they want to flirt with someone. Developing relationships organically is pretty different from public speaking, fulfilling the role of a leader in a structured activity or organization, or debating.