I watched a video today talking about common talking points concerning how „the left has failed men“
I would argue F.D argues that while this is often cited as a critique on how „the Left“ is losing young men to right grifters like Tate, Peterson, etc.
He eventually argues that these misogynistic forces are not new and have only been thriving because of economic problems (capitalism yaaay) faced in the present.
As I really like this community I thought I give it a shot to post something. If I should try to give a broader summary of the video please feel free to tell me.
Thanks for reading :)
It also doesn’t help that there’s a portion of feminists who are super extreme and basically just use feminism as a cover for man hating, which tends to push away young boys from real feminism.
I think there are a lot of layers to it tbh, the right promises young boys all of these things (that are bullshit) and tells them they are #1 and they matter most while in general left people tend to say that men (even moreso cis white men) are the problem, which tends to alienate those people.
As a very left leaning cis white male it does feel extremely lonely, I am very depressed and never feel like my feelings are valid. I can’t point to a boogeyman and say “that’s the reason my life sucks” cause I’m the boogeyman and the only reason my life sucks is because I suck.
It’s right wing option is just earlier mentally for boys to handle.
Just want to say, the fact that the right capitalizes on those topics makes me automatically cautious when I come across those discussions. Even reading through this community, I had to be defensive about getting hooked into something that is good on the surface but not so much underneath. My point is, its hard to talk about these topics now that its essentially associated with the manipulation tactics used by those influencers. Not sure how we can reclaim the positive while separating it from the negative.
First, man hating feminists aren’t feminists, they’re just assholes who use acceptable rhetoric (feminism) as a cover for spreading hate and bigotry. Feminism is about equality and taking down patriarchal systems that harm everyone. Although it is female centric and tends to deal with aspects of the patriarchy that affect women and gender minorities. Feminism is VERY effective, and we’re now in a situation where the harmful effects on men of patriarchal ideology are becoming more and more obvious. I believe men’s lib is a GREAT banner for men to take down the patriarchy where they’re the most affected. Working with feminism, LGBT+ and anti-racism we can ensure all harmful aspects of patriarchy are dismantled.
Second you’re not To blame. You’re not the patriarchy and you’re certainly being hurt by it in meaningful ways. If you’re not reinforcing the patriarchal systems that are harming you, you had nothing to do with the pain you feel.
You do have places to point the finger. The patriarchy and right wing ideology harms young men. Fiscal conservatives who gut education budgets, and force a focus on STEM at the expense of physical education, cooperative group sports, and recess time. Librarian educators who put all the physical activity budget into competitive sports so that “the strong rise and the weak perish”. Pearl clutching conservatives who accuse male teachers of homosexuality, grooming, and pedophilia when they try to connect with students or introduce acceptance of LGBT+ ideology ruining the careers of male teachers and robbing boys of positive role models. Men and women who spread toxic masculinity and ridicule young boys who express their feelings or emotional needs. I could go on to show the ways right wing ideology robs boys and young men of their life satisfaction and societal prospects.
Therapy is great for personal growth. For growth within your friend group and family, you can also start looking at how toxic masculinity and regressive gender norms harm you and those around you. Most young men and women parrot these views but don’t understand them. Occasional calm, polite, assertive explanations about the ideology they’re spreading is enough for most people to realise what they’re doing. You can improve your friend group over time, as well as help you encourage good supportive friendships and trim harmful ones. That will also help your emotional and mental well-being.
I am very depressed and never feel like my feelings are valid. I can’t point to a boogeyman and say “that’s the reason my life sucks” cause I’m the boogeyman and the only reason my life sucks is because I suck.
At least that’s the better attitude. If you are depressed and you cope by hating on whatever minority you get told to hate, it won’t really cure your depression.
The only thing that helps is learning to love yourself and doing things, however small, to love yourself a bit more. It’s very hard to do, and it wont reward you as instantaneously as drugs or cash. I hope you find that and wish you luck.
Alas the internet thrives on rage funneling. Hard to avoid, but very toxic. There’s also an extreme left flavor of funnel, though.
Thank you for the kind words, I’m working on it
Anything is better than hating someone else for no reason, I’ve got enough hate in my heart as is, and one of the best ways to make me (and most people) feel better is to spread love.
As @akasazh says baby steps for sure and you got this!
I would argue however that there is a boogeyman that you can blame and that is capitalism, so there is always that.
Additionally as you have yourself mentioned just because we live in a partiachial society that doesn’t mean that cis white men are always just winners, so I think the feeling of being overwhelmed and on your own and downtrodden by the system can be totally valid. Similarly to what @cmbabul mentioned, sure you can be a little bit more up the ladder but we are most likely all quite far away from the top :)
I hope that you feel empowered to reach out to others and connect. I am sure others share your sentiment. I think Lemmy has DMs so if you ever wanna just chat feel free to write me :)
Thank you for sharing!
The upper classes are the boogeyman that made everyones life suck to varying degrees using the made up subdivisions they’ve designed to keep themselves in control. Blame those at the very top of the hierarchy, you may be higher up on it than others in more marginalized groups but unless you’re worth billions you still aint close to the top
