Nah, they are. Satya Nadella was having an important medical procedure done when he noticed all the lab equipment still ran on xp. Not compatible with newer versions, staff said. Horrified that he was hooked up to machines that any black hat fucker could compromise in a heartbeat, he had an epiphany. Windows as it is now is a blight on the land, and the path of linux is the only way forward. High as fuck on morphine, Windows 12 was conceived: Linux based, open source, split taskbar fuck yeah, with blackjack and hookers*!

• • By hookers, I of course mean one of those dancing stripper taskbar viruses middle-aged men love downloading. Now pre-installed!

Source: I made it the fuck up