So, backstory: I started at a new position yesterday (finally able to leave Texas and move somewhere less hostile to my existence). I don’t disclose my gender during the hiring process because I don’t want to face discriminatory hiring practices, so no one knew I was transfem until my first day. My manager met with me before orientation and had a chat with me. When I mentioned I wasn’t sure what my preferred name should be, she sorta tilted her head, closed the door to her office, and we had a really affirming chat about my gender and name and everything. She helped me settle on a new name (something I’ve been indecisive about for a really long time) and reassured me that if I wanted to change it later I could. She showed me how to change my name, gender, and pronouns in the system myself. Then she went to my new team before I saw them and told them all what my name and preferred pronouns are so that I didn’t need to have that conversation 6+ times on my first day. Most importantly, she asked me what I wanted to do on all of these things and did exactly what I was most comfortable with.
Such an amazing, inclusive, and welcoming experience. Never had any experience like it honestly! She handled it really well. I sent her a thank you email this morning letting her know how much it meant to me and how well she handled the topic of my gender, presentation, and preferred name. After a lifetime of discrimination and oppression and hatred, I feel like I’m starting to really become myself. Seeing my name on all the emails in my inbox and having my coworkers address me by that name gave me the strongest hit of euphoria I’ve had since the first time I went shopping for women’s clothing.
My new name is Emma by the way :>
Thanks for sharing Emma! I get pretty doomey thinking about how anything like this would never happen where I live, and it probably won’t for a while. It’s still nice to hear some hope, that this kind of thing isn’t unrealistic.
