Honestly getting tired of explaining, but I’ll give it another shot:

So, let’s say that you have an ape, and would like to get some more apes. Maybe that astro ape is a Lab Monke, maybe it’s special forces, but it’s an ape, and who doesn’t want more apes. Now, you’d probably say, “I’ll just have to go mint more apes, or maybe buy one off the marketplace.” Now, that might be true for some apes, but for astro apes you can use a slurp juice. It’s a complementary collectible that you can use to mint an ape from an existing ape. Now, the key thing is that you can use multiple slurp juices on the same ape. A lot of people think that you use the slurp juice on an ape and then it’s gone. Now, that would sound scary: “what if I liked my original astro ape? I don’t want to slurp juice it away!” Fortunately, that’s not the case. When you use slurp juice on an ape, it mints a brand new ape. Yes, the slurp juice gets used up, but the original ape will remain in your collection. So, let’s say that for the event you have your astro ape, and then you have 3 slurp juices. That means, by the end of the event, if you use all 3 slurp juices on your ape, you would be have 4 apes at the end of the night, which is your 1 original ape plus the 3 new apes you just minted. Of course, the slurp juice is going to be consumed, but would you rather have slurp juice or an ape? The utility of the slurp juice is in minting new apes from your existing astro apes, so it’s a good investment of your slurp juice to use it. However, if you’re not confident in the outcome of the new apes, you may want to sell your slurp juice to someone (if they’re buying) so that they can take advantage and that way they would have the 3 additional apes. Either way, someone’s going to slurp that juice, so it just depends if you’re willing to take that risk. Maybe the new ape you mint will be valuable, and maybe it won’t. There’s nothing wrong with taking a more conservative stake, but there’s also a lot of opportunity so got to do what’s right for you and what’s right for your apes. It’s also important to note that the slurp juice is only going to work on your astro apes. It’s not going to work on your nvmbears, or your basedapes or onisociety or your foxsyndicate (etc…). It’s definitely not going to work on apes outside of the rarecandy ecosystem, so don’t even try it. You’re not going to be able to get 4 bored apes, even if you already have a bored ape. If you want a bored ape, you’re going to have to get them like anyone else: i.e. steal them from Seth Green. Now, you say, isn’t it wrong to steal a bored ape. Actually, no. Because code is law, if you steal a bored ape you are the legal owner of it because the code says you own it (or rather, because it’s assigned to your wallet which I guess would be the actual owner but I digress.) So, stealing a bored ape from Seth Green is not too hard. Seth Green loves to use slurp juice on his apes, so you just need to directly deposit a tampered slurp juice into Seth Green’s wallet. No, you might say “but why would Seth Green use the tampered slurp juice on his bored ape? Doesn’t Seth Green know that slurp juices don’t work on bored apes?” Yes, you really would think that by now he’d have caught on, but it works for me every time so obviously he hasn’t asked me or anyone else in the community about how slurp juices work. This is why it’s important that we talk to each other and share tips on slurp juice. Now if someone sent you a tampered slurp juice, you know not to use it on a bored ape or any other ape for that matter. Of course, it may not be easy to differentiate between a tampered slurp juice and a normal slurp. If you have a slurp juice in your wallet, you got to ask yourself: did I mint this slurp juice? have I already used this slurp juice on my apes? Did I get this slurp juice from a trusted community member? Now, if a tampered slurp juice is used on a ape, I’m sorry to say, it’s not going to mint a new ape. It’s tampered, it’s fake to be honest. It’s slurp juice, it’ll look just like any other slurp juice in your wallet, but it’s not. Instead of allowing you to consume the slurp juice to mint a new ape, so you’d have two apes instead of one ape (or rather n+1 apes where n is the current number of apes that you have), the tampered slurp juice is going to enact a transaction to reassign the ape from your wallet to some one elses’. “You might say, isn’t that stealing?” In the court of law, no, because code is law and the code that the micro-contract (i.e., the tampered slurp juice) executes is also law and this law states that you transferred the ape to another persons’ wallet. Now, that may make you feel sad if you get your apes hit with a fake slurp, but if you use a tampered slurp juice to steal Seth Green’s bored apes (or another ape he owns, you may have to hit him with the fake slurp a couple times before you snag a bored ape) you’ll feel pretty good so it all evens out I think. So, once you steal Seth Green’s bored ape, you can always sell it back to him, or you can display it in a public collection. So, a public collection is kinda like a wallet. Just like with a wallet you can look up and see how many apes someone has, you can do the same with a public collection. A public collection is a great place to display your apes, either the 3 apes you got by slurp juicing your original astro ape (maybe also plus the original ape you slurp juiced which would bring it up to 4 apes), or you could also display the ape you stole from Seth Green (and maybe the other 2-4 apes that you also stole from Seth Green in the processing of phishing for his bored ape.) Now, some may say it’s gauche to display stolen apes in your public collection. They say: “that’s a bit gauche to display stolen apes in a public collection, you should keep them in your wallet instead!” Now, I disagree with those people (code=law), but if you feel that way about it it’s not a big deal since other people will be able to see your 4-9 cool apes in the wallet as well (unless you keep your 1+3 astro apes in the public collection since you minted those, and then keep the 3-5 stolen apes in your wallet.)

If you remember back when NFTs were a thing there was an NFT grift called “Board Ape Yacht Club” where people bought jpgs of monkeys for absurd amounts of money. Slurp juices were some token or power up or something that the ape jpeg people could get somehow, and then during an event they could use the slurp juice tokens to turn their ape jpeg in to another ape jpeg.

And if that doesn’t make any sense I assure you; You’re understanding it correctly. The whole nft thing was extremely silly.

Also, not directly relevant, but the bored ape creators were cryptofash, because of course they were.

It’s a copypasta from a particularly absurd Bitcoin bro.