I fucking hate tankies and so should you, these are the steps to wreck them in internet battle.

Step 1: Mention Star Trek. Tankies love this shit. It’s one of the only things that give them joy. They call it “communism in space”. Trust me, they go feral for this shit.

Step 2: Ask them if they like the original stuff. They should say yes, because it’s pre-9/11 Trek and that makes it valid.

Step 3: Put on some Jojo music because this is when they begin to lose.

Step 4: Tell them that the original Star Trek film was actually the first movie tie-in with McDonald’s Happy Meal. This is the ultimate sin because Mickey D’s and their “happy” meal is everything all factions of tankies hate. This would retcon Star Trek as unbased and capitalist cringe.

Step 5: The targeted tankie gets depressed that they can no longer have TTG play in the background in their life. They get so depressed, they stop bullying you online.

Step 6: This is how you stop tankies online

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6 points
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Adjusting a big dial labeled “JoJo Theme Song” and looking behind me to gauge the approval of the audience.

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5 points

Dramatically putting my hand to my ear to ensure the audience knows I’m looking for their approval

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