Idk why I keep checking the covid death toll on the CDC website. I know that 200,000 deaths will be reached soon, and nothing will happen. It will make absolutely no difference, and yet I keep checking. Can anyone make sense of this?

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It happened today. I looked at the numbers and really let myself feel what such a massive death toll feels like. Thanks for giving me some clarity about my motivations, I think it helped me to be prepared for what I needed emotionally today.

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