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-7 points

Because they just aren’t very good.

Bidet people think bidets are incredible and come up with all these psychoanalytic reasons why people won’t use them, but that’s the reason.

I had one growing up and used it occasionally but always disliked it. They’re inconvenient and don’t make you noticeably cleaner than toilet paper.

IMHO they’re for germphobes and people who do really sloppy shits.

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3 points
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What the hell kind of bidet were you using? I’ve got what I’d consider middle of the road shits, and every bidet that I have ever used has been literally a different world from mashing my shit around with a tissue.

Went from like a three-minute process involving a lot of paper to ten seconds, followed by thirty to dry, and usually no toilet paper at all.

Maybe now that you’re older you should try it out again? I probably wouldn’t have liked one as a kid either, but I also took like one shower a week.

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0 points

If wiping your ass is a three minute process involving mashing shit around, then you’re the sloppy shit person I’m talking about. I’d want a bidet if that happened to me too.

For me wiping is one to clean and one to polish. First sheet gets stained slightly brown (but no actual shit on it, because that’s in the toilet), second sheet comes away clean. It’s a five second process.

It’s a freestanding ceramic bidet plumbed in to hot and cold water, the kind everyone is saying is the best. Lived there up through my 20s. Waddling over to it to wash and then dry was an utter waste of time.

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I can’t help but imagining you walking around with a shitty ass all the time. When you get poop on your hands do you just wipe it with a napkin and call it good or do you wash your hands?

Also the freestanding bidet seems to be the minority these days compared to those mounted on/in the toilet itself.

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1 point

Or you never used paper properly.

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