I can relate… If it is worth doing, it must be done 100% right, first try, zero margin for error, no rehearsals, no practise round.
Like rocket science!
(Except I know that’s not how rocket science is done, either, but somehow that thought refuses to sink in)
I also had a high school biology teacher call me out in lecture hall for not taking notes. And then after the test was graded, calling me to a meeting after class and personally apologizing to me, sincerely, with, “I didn’t realize you had a photographic memory.”
I am only now realizing that since she called me out publicly, she should have apologized publicly, but that’s almost 40 years ago, so nothing I can do about it now.
Shit, I had such a similar experience… It’s so depressing how over the years (it was almost 30 for me, and from op I assume still now) things haven’t changed for us much…
I’m 53 years old. I have three kids, two of them are officially diagnosed on the ASD spectrum, have been for some time. And I have just started to realize in the past year that I’m on the spectrum, too (though not diagnosed, and I’m not clear on how useful it would be for me to go through that process).
So kind of all the time, I’m remembering things from my past, at all ages, and going, “Ohhhh …”
Oh, and just to touch on the diagnosis part, it’s definitely a hassle, and it didn’t get me much autism specific support per se (mostly because there isn’t any available), but just knowing has made a huge difference in my understanding of myself (back to the ohhh realisations and understanding just how much about me isn’t “wrong” juts “autistic” which is perfectly normal for me), and it does help to be able to tell support and other health workers, some might not have a clue what it means, but some will be able to understand and support much better.
Also self diagnosis is completely valid despite what some might say, it’s hard to access care, and even if you do, it’s hard to get a diagnosis (I had a real struggle, as do many, especially women). If you feel that the diagnosis applies to you, and especially being a parent to autistic kids you’d know a lot about it, I wouldn’t hesitate to claim it.
Same, and for those of us that were able to learn to cope it really seems like most of the symptoms are just being direct and clear instead of following social norms just because everyone else was.
Like I understand social cues, but also think many of them are stupid and confusing and see everyone else misunderstand them constantly but think they are great at it. Apparently just faking it is the norm, and when I see someone who is autistic struggle with vague ‘non-verbal cues’ I really feel for them because of how often I am misread. Like I’m crossing my arms because my shoulders hurt or I am chilly, not because I am mad.
