I did. I was born into a Christian family and naturally became a truly-believing Christian while I was quite young. After that I gradually walked away from the religion until I returned under my own will. My faith is entirely my own and my parents have never forced me to believe anything.
Honestly I wish I could find a reason to believe, I want so desperately to believe there is a spiritual element to life and after life
Of course there is. But you won’t find it with post-roman Christianity. Christianity has become a religion that denies the magic found everywhere else in the world, and accepts only one kind, that of their one god.
If you want to see the magic all through the world, you need to speak to the druids, the witches, the hellenists, and the indigenous whose religions survived colonisation. You need to explore the old ways of the world, before monotheism blocked the magic in the world from our sight.
