I recently made a new account on lemmy.blahaj.zone, because I’ve been harassed and doxxed on my old account and I wanted a fresh start with a more lighthearted online identity that I could be more open about my gender identity on. I’d heard blahaj zone was good for trans people, so I made my account there. And yeah, autism@lemmy.world removed my post discussing neuronormativism from a queer perspective, but I hoped maybe “the trans instance” would be friendlier to trans people.
A couple days after making my account, I saw someone on Blahaj engaging in the tired old cliche of “I hate politics, there’s no politics on my social media and I want to keep it that way!” Well we’ve all heard the joke that the two races are white and political, the two genders are male and political, and the two sexualities are straight and political. Hatred of politics is a transphobic, sexist, and racist trope. And having sufferred harassment and abuse from people inside the queer community who “hated politics” and saw trans or nonbinary or xenogender identities as political, I knew this kind of speech was going to make bigots feel comfortable saying they also hate politics, and they think us trans people are it.
So, I responded to the transphobia. I started out by attempting to educate them on what politics actually means. But I was interrupted by the Blahaj admin Ada, who told me that politics is “anything I disagree with”, and that indeed politics isn’t welcome on Blahaj. This language was deeply triggering of my past issues dealing with abuse, and I knew from past experience this sort of thing is said by people who are getting ready to say some enbyphobic or racist hate speech. It is especially common for white queer people to talk this way to BIPOC queer people. I tried to reason with Ada, explained the history of the cliche, the trauma it’s caused many trans people, and the consequences this kind of speech will have on the community here, making us all less safe.
Ada wasn’t having it. She minimised my concerns by reducing them to my personal trauma while ignoring my wider concerns for others’ safety, and weaponised my PTSD to paint my opinions as invalid because I am mentally ill. She said she owns Blahaj, and she gets to do whatever she wants with it, and nobody is allowed to express a differing opinion, even one that protects trans people, because that’s politics. At the time I thought her concern was me speaking directly to transphobes and making them feel uncomfortable by calling out their actions, so I said I’d just report it instead, and she banned my account.
This behaviour protects transphobes, WILL lead to trans and BIPOC people being harassed on this instance, attacks and gaslights victims of trauma (my concerns can’t be valid because I have a mental illness), and forces out any trans person with a commitment to safety for the community.
The thread where all this happened: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2143969
EDIT: The person who originally posted the transphobic views on politics is now misgendering me and calling me a “guy” despite me being very openly nonbinary: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669. And I didn’t call them autistic at any point.
Read the thread you linked. Taking Ada’s side.
Agree she and the other poster used the word, “Politics” incorrectly.
Express the same opinion you do that “Everything is political!”
I am also an annoying faggot, and so I know a thing or two about being abrasive. You definitely were.
Abrasion can be good. It’s how we get and maintain political actualization, it also smooths out wood.
We got to watch where we direct it though. The sandpaper that smooths the dresser can also scratch the mirror, and we can lose sight of ourselves.
Step back.
Breath.
Maybe after a while apologize to Ada—she seemed pretty understanding throughout the whole thing.
Or just stay off BLÅHAJ and move on with your life.
You are probably feeling rejected right now and I imagine that doesn’t feel good at all.
It explains why you are posting this thread to so many magazines, searching desperately for community and connection.
UNDER THE ASSUMPTION YOU ARE NOT A TROLL (an assertion your username leaves me unable to be 100% about) then I don’t reject you.
I think you were incorrect in this instance, but I’ve yet to come across a reason to hate you.
Whatever you choose to do, I hope you feel better.
May this experience facilitate better ones in the future.
What about the part where she ignored my concerns about the harm the speech could have on trans people because I’m mentally ill? I discussed my personal trauma with transphobic cliches and their effects, and she only spoke about the trauma, saying it wasn’t a good enough reason to remove the content. I had good reasons and she ignored them because I have trauma. All I saw was an unwillingness to compromise and gaslighting to support her decisions. When it came down to it, she didn’t have a reason not to remove the transphobia, but it was “my way or the highway” because she’s the famous person with thousands of people on her website, and I’m just some mentally ill person who gets abused. I don’t see any of this patience you’re talking about, I only see a facade of patience. A projection of an image designed to delegitimise without any tangible action to protect anyone
I can see you’re hurt.
I imagine that doesn’t feel good.
I can also—like Forest Whitaker in Species—imagine how the other poster must have felt to’ve used a less-than-opportune term while describing their desire for a space with a degree of disengagement and had you come at them.
At. Not to.
And with the vitriol usually used on cis people
Because someone used an inideal word in describing their want for peace.
And now you’re trying to turn the rest of the fediverse against them.
I also have to say I noticed how I all-but-called-you a troll and you never addressed it or explained your user name.
Perhaps you are so shook up in whatever state your in that you jumped right to disparaging Ada and defending your verisimilitude plumb slipped your mind.
I don’t deny the possibility.
I also acknowledge the possibility none of this is in good faith and you didn’t address your potential trollhood and that doesn’t serve your end of stirring shit.
I accuse you of neither, though the fact you did not address your username does lead me to doubt your veracity.
I didn’t think you called me a troll. I thought you said you were going to assume I wasn’t a troll and act in good faith. I thought you were making a serious attempt at reasonableness and empathy. The explanation for my username is that I wanted a more lighthearted account where I could be open about my gender and sexuality. I’m a gay fat enby, so I made my username a joke about that. Yeah, it was Reddit tier humour, but on Reddit it was always a chuckle and moving on when someone with a PM_ME username commented on something serious. I wanted a bit of levity when I went and said something serious, and in the time I had that username that did happen. At least one person saw my username, couldn’t take me seriously, and didn’t argue with me. It defused a hostile situation and I saw that as a win.
