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I got myself onto a waiting list in my native country to get an official diagnosis. Would have had to be paid out of pocket, plus the flight back home (adult autism diagnosis in my residential country? Never heard of such a thing, so my native country was the only place to even try). But when I first started entertaining the idea that I could be autistic it was quite the revelation for me and of course I wanted it proven and on paper!

When they finally called after three years with a date for a first assessment I politely declined. Psychiatric diagnosis is one of the most trial-and-error processes we have in medicine. I do believe some brain difference exist that account for the differences between people like me and others, but all that Psychiatry has done is they attached some acronyms to it. Beyond that? They don’t know why, how, or what to do with us other than reeducate us to appear more normal. There is no better support for me out there than what I’ve built for myself over the years. I live remote with little human interaction. I work remote. I have self-built ergo stuff for my fucky joints so I can continue working. I choose my own medication. I allow myself to be weird and will not finish any day without a good wiggle or making a few weird sounds. Hey I even found an equally weird partner, lucky me!

It’s of course entirely possible that I’m just making the whole thing up in my mind and could do fine in a presence type job, and that I could do fine without wiggles and noises. But at this point I don’t want to know, I’m fine.

If self-diagnosis helps you set up your life to be more easy for you, go for it!

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