I was going to offer my anecdotal subversion of that argument, that the boyfriend/husband is the one to suggest it, but then I remembered I was the one who pushed for it. Granted, it was because I was having testosterone issues and I encouraged my wife to pick up a side partner, so she wouldn’t have to suffer with me. We are a very indulgent couple, and I could tell the dry spell was wearing on her.

Of polyamorous relationships, I will say two things:

• 1. Before you even consider opening a relationship, you must have absolute trust in your partner. There can be no lies, no half truths, no omissions. If you can’t meet this, don’t even bother trying. It will only drive a wedge between you.
• 2. It really, really helps if you are both queer. It really levels the playing field, as either way you slice it, there will be far fewer available females than males.