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Haha hello Melbourne DT’ers! This is your host Ms GA and I’m back and hosting another Friday thread.
Hope you have a marvellous Friday irl. And if not then I hope today’s thread will turn that around and you have fun here! ☀️
I’ve realised a random thing about myself: I hate when people make “observations” about me and tell me. People do it a lot about my style. I guess I like to look nice, but have a fairly simple style and a clear colour palette because I don’t like to buy lots of clothes, so people often say things like, “You really like to wear X colours don’t you?”
It’s the kind of comment that isn’t a compliment so maybe I’m just defensive but it feels like a judgement or I’m being asked to explain myself and it sets me on edge. I don’t know how to respond either.
They are probably just trying to bond and show they’ve noticed but my whole life I’ve attracted unwanted attention and commentary on my appearance so it’s annoying to me. Do other people have their appearance and clothes commented on a lot? Is that just something people do? It never occurs to me to say such a thing to someone else unless I’m giving a compliment or being like, “Ooh is that a new jacket?”
freakiest thing is when some woman down my regular bar started copying my hair and make up
and then she started to comment on my accent and enunciation 😬
Nooo I’ve also had a copy cat! She even went to my hairdresser and asked for the same hair and my hairdresser refused hahaha.
I used to work in a design oriented industry and yes it was very common to comment on / receive comments on the appearance (clothing, hair, glasses, shoes etc). My last job was full of engineers and a lot of male, and nobody seems to care what you look like. My current job has a lot of female in the office and they do tend to notice more and do make comments on what each other’s wearing.
I usually just say thanks and compliment on something they wear/ have and then move on. It’s almost like “morning, how are you?” Type of small talk.
Same, i mean i dont work in design but its standard to make small talk so outfits is one subject to make small talk about ___
That makes a lot of sense! I don’t mind commentary and discussion on clothes I guess, it’s just the way some people say it. Sometimes it feels more judgemental and I’m sensitive to it. But a favourite tactic of my bullies at high school was to “compliment” or take a tone like they were “innocently commenting on” something about what I was wearing or how I looked but they meant it as an insult 🙄 I think I just have an over sensitive anxiety response to such things now. I’ll try to get more used to it!!
Hmm. I dont really get what the diff is between you asking if thats a new jacket and soneone asking if you like particular colours?
I suppose for me it’s that mine is a question (and I’d probably tack on a compliment such as “I like it!”) whereas people just tend to make statements and I’m just like “… yes” haha. I think it’s just my autism showing on this issue LOL 🙈
I think a lot of it depends on the delivery. Those sorts of comments can come across as judgemental and/or an attempt to put you into a box (which has high potential to then lead to comments if you ever do anything outside what they have decided is “your” style).
Sometimes it can also be hard to tell what is intended, until you have a pattern of similar comment from the same person.
Exactly - now that I’ve thought about it I do feel there’s a difference. Ie. I have friends who will make a comment and it doesn’t bother me as I know they’re not trying to categorise me.
But there’s a way some people go about it that just feels off to me. Like the much older man who was my tutor who decided to take on this weird paternal attitude toward me. His commentary on my clothes in front of everyone was not wanted lol.
“You really like to wear X colours don’t you?”
yeah that’s not a compliment. That’s a backhander
Hmm, I don’t know. I pretty much wear the Melbourne uniform. Although the nice upside has been when friends/acquaintances point out something they’ve seen that they associate with my style. It’s nice sometimes, especially if I feel I’ve been really lazy and haven’t made much effort lately.
But I totally hear you. Unwanted comments are not fun.
Yeah, since socially transitioning people comment on my appearance a lot more. It’s one of joys I’m finding of living female but for me it’s pretty new and I’m still clunky at putting together outfits. I don’t have a big wardrobe and I don’t want one so I’m often in the same clothes. I also tend toward the same colours. I understand why you feel it’s a bit of backhanded “compliment”. Like they’re thinking, they always wear the same clothes…
I’m guessing your palette isn’t the usual black and beige?
I’m guessing your palette isn’t the usual black and beige?
How dare you call me out like this.
I sometimes wear grey too 🥺
Usual doesn’t mean bad, I just like colourfull clothes. no offense intended
Yes that’s a bit how it feels! Years ago I basically only wore black and white as I was very very poor and just stuck to those as it’s easier to make outfits. But when people would comment on it it’s like, no I’m not making a fashion statement I just have no money 😂
Now I incorporate richer colours which I suppose you don’t see as often.
Melbourne needs more colour in my opinion. Grey skies? Wear something red or orange and project warmth. Black puffer jacket? No! Red leather jacket. All the new hair colours we see these days do brighten things up somewhat though.
