Please don’t ask why I need this.
It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.
It has to be something I can easily find.
EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:
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I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
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I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
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I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
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I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
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Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
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If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.
Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.
I recommend eating a lot of cheese and absolutely NO fiber. Not sure if it will make you sweat less, but I’m pretty sure if I ate only cheese for 3 days, it wouldn’t be too hard to wait till the end of it to poop. In fact, I may need some help at that point… maybe you should eat some fiber like a couple hours before you do plan on trying to poop, and also drink lots of water at that point, too. I personally find cheese very “helpful” in getting myself constipated, and fiber + water to be a great way to smoothen the pooping process.
To share the wisdom of Weird Al Yankovic on this topic:
This cheese 'round the clock
is getting me blocked
