self-explanatory!!

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8 points

I’m happy

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4 points

You die immediately after this

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2 points

An annoying happy-go-lucky theme song plays for all to hear around you.

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2 points

… despite having nightmarish diarrhea every hour, on the hour.

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12 points

But you can poop only once every 3 days.

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3 points

That’s my normal, so what’s the problem?

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5 points

But only until you sober up.

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3 points

Ok that was dark.

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