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125 points

One of the few cases where consent of anything can be assumed is lifesaving of a person unable to respond. One of the first steps of cpr is to seek a response to ensure that the person is unconscious before then confirming no pulse.

But yeah I get why it’s awkward

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54 points

Yeah but the mob around me watching me touch her breasts might not know that.

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74 points

I’m not CPR certified or anything, but I think if you’re just grabbing titties you’re probably doing it wrong.

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32 points
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6 points

For sure! But I didn’t say you WERE grabbing titties, just that you’re perceived to be.

I mean just getting the electrodes on for a defibrillator you have to lift their shirt…

Can you see that being perceived poorly?

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0 points

Even though you’re joking I wouldn’t be surprised if someone did react like that. “Uhhmmmm, that’s no CPR, you’re just fondling her! I know because I went to CPR training.”

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32 points

The instructors advise you to speak aloud your actions as you do them. Also helps if you have already levelled out instructions to the rent a crowd to perform specific tasks like send for help and get the defib and you three who said yes to cpr training let’s line up and take turns doing cpr.

…of course, the training to be comfortable giving these instructions is not really done.

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5 points

Absolutely!

And what if you’re outside a bar and everyone is drunk?

Unfortunately life doesn’t provide ideal scenarios, not to mention that under the duress of what you’re doing you may forget steps.

I’m not saying that fondling an unconscious person is the same as cpr, but that perceptions are funny things.

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1 point

Then put whichever Karen looks fiercest in charge of compressions. Either she’ll get in there and do them, or she’ll demur, in which case you say you will and she should watch so she can start when you get tired. That makes her your witness. Don’t forget to tell someone else to call emergency services.

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7 points

By the time you try to convince any Karen to do anything, the person would have died.

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2 points

Wise.

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-25 points

If you’re touching her tits, you’re not giving proper CPR. Proper CPR happens just below the sternum. That’s well below any kind of bra band. If her tits are that low, she’s either an EE cup or 80 years old.

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23 points

Huh, I looked it up and checked out the instructions and diagrams of several websites. Every one of them said to place your hands on the upper part of the chest and every image showed their hands between the nipples.

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20 points

Proper CPR happens just below the sternum.

Wouldn’t that be the hemlich?

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9 points

You need to compress the chest, so pressure needs to go on the sternum. If you’re pressing below it, the only thing you’re compressing is their intestines, which is not gonna help anyone

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2 points

Okay but we’ve already established that it’s not about what you ARE doing, but what people think you’re doing.

Perception.

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1 point
*

Wouldn’t that break the xyphoid process? Below that is where you Heimlich. Above, on the strong center bone, is where you do chest compression. Also, as a haver of boobs, I can vouch that they will have enough space between them when she’s flat on her back and braless that you can put your locked fists between them on that bone and shove the heel of your hand towards the floor.

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7 points

onsent of lifesaving attempts can be assumed, not of anything

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3 points

COWS. “Can you here me?” “Open your eyes.” “What’s your name?” “Squeeze my hands.”

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