I’d be Cables Don’t Tangle Man.
Control Minor Static Charges Woman. It would make housecleaning easier and my keyboards would always be clean. I wouldn’t have to get near dust bunnies, I would be able to slowly guide them to the trash can.
As someone who’s spent a lot of time working in a lab, the ability to control static electricity would be a godsend! There’s really nothing like spending weeks preparing a new material as a fine powder, carrying it over to the weighing scales, placing a glass sample vial onto the scales, taring it, then a scooping up some of your powder with a spatula, careful not to lose a single particle, then carefully, CAREFULLY carrying the scoop of power to the sample vial – then seeing the static blast your powder out of the spatula to coat the OUTSIDE of the sample vial, plus the scales, plus your nitrile glove…
I have trauma.
I’ve never had to do this sort of thing in a lab, but I now feel I know exactly what that feels like! You have my sympathy!
