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Remember, you are loved

Things have been up and down for me. In a glum mood today. Been hanging out with someone new, and that’s been nice, I’m just not sure if I really want to keep it up. Home life is…fine, I guess. Still living with my ex, they’re gonna give things until the end of the year to see if their career picks up any, and if not, they’ll move home. That said, they’ve been talking about that for years, so I’ll believe it when I see it. They broke down and finally yelled at me for the first time a few nights ago, so I silently carved a pumpkin and then just stayed over with the person I’ve been seeing. As nice as the couch I live on is, it was nice to sleep in a bed for a night or two this past week.

Job front is slow moving, but I had a promising interview last Wednesday. Was supposed to hear back Thurday afternoon or Friday, but even with a followup email I sent, no reply. Fingers crossed I guess.

I deleted a few of my dating apps, still have a small amount installed. A Maoist actually hollered at me this morning and wants to take me to an arcade. Not sure I have the energy though. Other people are asking me for dates, but I’m just…not replying. I should go do that now so I don’t leave them hanging.

On a brighter note, 9 day tour coming up in 2 weeks, so that’s cool! Without giving away too much (y’all know my band anyways and have seen my face), I’ll be going around the midwest. We’ve been doing well on selling merch the past few months, so that money should be sufficient to cover the tour. Also, we’ll have a roadie for the first time!

I’ll end it here I guess. Hope all my comrades are well, and I love you!

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I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that my mental health won’t improve until capitalism is gone. I am also trying really hard to not fall into doomerism again but it’s really hard. There are elections in my country this month and I’m really scared because the right will probably gain a lot. All in all it’s not looking too good but I’ll stick around just in case. And to yell at cops at protests.

I wish you all the luck with your interviews and hope that you will get away from your ex.

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Sending solidarity to you

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