I just want to jump back in and clear up something: I am not talking about autism. I don’t honestly feel that the term spoonie as it originally was developed applies to people with autism/autistics, I always understood it to be a measure of physical illness. (If you want to use it for your neurodiversity you are welcome to do so, but then you’re not who I’m talking about when I talk about spoonies.)
I am in constant physical pain. There is no social model for my disability. I am in agony.
Also yes 100% to your second paragraph, exactly that.