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I (21M) am struggling to think as a single person

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ameliorability@lemmy.world
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relationship_advice@lemmy.world
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Hello to my friends from Lemmy, the title may be misleading to some.

Long story short, I was in a relationship for a bit over 2 years and I broke up with her recently. I blocked her everywhere, and initially struggled with not thinking about her and our relationship all the time, but now I find it hard to think. Although I have coped and detached very well, it seems that I have nothing to think of, and if I’m not spending my time on entertainment or studying (e.g. in the car) I resort to thinking about my relationship again. It’s been making me really unproductive and I’m not even sure what I was like when I was single.

It’s not that I am obsessed with “her” or feeling anything, but I can’t focus on nothing - it seems that my mental resources keep running and forcing me to concentrate on something. But I don’t want to think of “her” again. The past few days I often thought of “her” sexually romantically or as physically present, but now I often stress about the relationship itself and question all the decisions I may have made in the relationship. I mean I’ve considered actions and things that happened in my relationship in a productive way but I keep on going back to thinking of those things again (which isn’t helpful at all).

Does anyone have advice on how I can sit and focus productively or even neutrally, instead of trying to rethink and overthink a relationship that I’ve already thought of.

Edit: if you want further info about the relationship itself, https://lemmy.world/post/727078

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ameliorability@lemmy.worldOP
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Damn I have a good number of scars… as I mentioned in another reply I don’t want to be with someone just to deal with this. I want to have genuine connection, not push my issues to someone :) so I wanna wait till it happens not force it.

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feidry@midwest.social
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Oh yeah, I wasn’t advocating for that course of action. Just stating from experience that it works but also that it doesn’t necessarily fix all problems. There just isn’t a good way to heal from this pain other than just wait and work on yourself.

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